No Woman, No Cry

Mar 15, 10 No Woman, No Cry

how to keep from crying when cutting onions I’ve cried over you for too long; but that ends right here, right now. You will not be the cause of a single more tear spent from my eyes. Do you hear me, onions? It is on! I am sick of going half blind every time I want to cook an encebollado. I’m not talking some mild ocular moisture, I mean full-on sobbing and sniffling. It’s like watching Oprah, or that episode when El Chavo got kicked out of la vecindad.

So I scoured the web for the best advice on how to avoid a valley of tears when I go up against my nemesis. There are tons of suggestions, like washing the evil little things in cold water or freezing them before cutting, or lighting a candle next to the cutting board to help burn the fumes. Apparently, it’s these fumes that cause the endless tears, so the best strategies involve avoiding contact with your nose and eyes at all costs. You can hold your nose with an old-school clothes pin or wear swim goggles for a foolproof solution. Yeah. It sounds (and surely looks) ridiculous, but it’s all part of the effort to kick some onion ass. Just don’t do it around other people, unless you want to be known as la loca esa.

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