Amigos or Not?

Mar 30, 11 Amigos or Not?

Breakups suck no matter which way you look at them. Either you’re getting hurt or you’re hurting someone you care about (or at least used to). Not fun. The question for the ages, though, is whether or not to attempt to remain friends. There are those who say that it’s impossible for men and women to be just friends (see When Harry Met Sally), let alone two people who have a history together. Pulling it off can be tricky, no question about that, but there are ways to make it work.

  • First of all, you need to determine why it is that you (or your ex) want to remain friends in the first place. Is it because you genuinely care about each other and are unwilling to cut each other out of your lives for good, or is one of you secretly hoping there’s a chance to rekindle the romance? Because that’s a red flag right there, and has disaster written all over it. You need to allow yourselves a mourning period to allow the flames to sizzle, and then reconnect when the wounds have healed.
  • Also, why did you break up in the first place and is it something that is going to parlay into your potential friendship?
  • Extremely important: if you do decide to go forge ahead with la amistad, keep things strictly platonic at all times. No flirting or reminiscing, even if you’re completely borrachos. Nothing good will come out of it. By the same token, avoid analyzing your relationship. It’s over and done with, no use beating a dead horse.
  • Another drawback is that us Latinas can be very jealous and possessive, and even if you no longer have feelings for them seeing your ex with someone new can trigger feelings of resentment and make it harder for you to move on.

There are pros and cons, but ultimately it’s up to you to decide whether or not you think it’s worth it to keep this person in your life. There are some bonds that can’t be broken, but in other cases it’s better to remember mientras menos perros, menos pulgas (girl, you have enough problems already). 

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